I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
