do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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