You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
