Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
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she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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