At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
