so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
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Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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