I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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