On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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