he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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