My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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