hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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