i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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