By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
