Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
