Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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