you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
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Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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