I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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