The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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