I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
