I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
