i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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