Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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