So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
