it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
