Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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