Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
