Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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