Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
