I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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