Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We just shotgunned beers for America
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"