omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
