i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
operation harelip BJ is a go
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize