Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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