you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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