Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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