You're so nebulous sometimes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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