He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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