Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We are two peas in an std pod
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
