I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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