I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
These tits shall not be calmed