i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.