I just pynch a tree in the face
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
