I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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