Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
