Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
