so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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