I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
