Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
