Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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