"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
