I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I still have a little drunk in my system
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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