We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
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I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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