I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
