Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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