She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
