so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
