"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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