we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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