he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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